Knowing When to Move On
Yesterday was my grandma’s funeral service. We had known it was the end of her life for a few weeks. And really I think she knew it was near the end of her life for months. She kept telling me she wouldn’t be around much longer.
My grandma was a deeply religious woman. She and my grandpa have loved God my entire life. They always told everyone that while life was beautiful, they were excited to experience Heaven. They told us that it would be better than we could imagine and it would be more beautiful than life on Earth ever could be. My grandma spent her life telling everyone she loved about God and Heaven. I had no idea about this story until her funeral service, but she even told her doctor one time at an appointment to sit down and let her tell the doctor about her God and the doctor did sit down and listen to my grandma.
Religion was a weird thing for me throughout my life. I always knew church and God, but I never felt at home anywhere. I always felt like I did not have a place at any of the churches I went to and did not see church the same way as my grandma did. I would always go with her. I always went to youth group and Bible studies with her or my mom, but I never really got it in the way that she did. My grandma was never harsh about it with me. She instilled a lot of her religious beliefs in me but I never felt like she would love me less if I didn’t live my life perfectly by her standards.
Looking back on life I never realized how strong my grandma was. She was that silent one who knew just what to do to get what she believed everyone deserved. She wasn’t ever afraid to use her voice for others when she needed to, but she also knew when to be quiet. My grandma held the family together tightly. She never complained about her role. I think she quite liked having the power at home in our family-ha! My grandpa worked hard to provide for her and all of his kids-they never saw a difference between their own children, grandchildren or great grandchildren-we are all theirs and they take care of us all the same.
On my grandma’s literal death bed she was making sure my grandpa was taken care of. Did he eat? Was he sleeping? She’d try to tell everyone exactly what to do as she started to fail over the years and couldn’t do as much. She’d still take care of us by telling us exactly what to do even if we already knew. 😉
I visited her a couple weeks before she passed away. My husband and I walked into her hospital room and she smiled so big at us and she just said, “I’m ready to close my eyes and be with Jesus.” And she just kept smiling. She was telling us that she was ready to move on from this life. She was ready for her next phase.
She and my grandpa have been married for nearly 64 years. She was 17 years old when she walked down the aisle to say I do. My grandpa promised her and her parents he’d give her a beautiful life. He had only one condition-they could never divorce. My grandma accepted and they did exactly what they said they’d do.
Despite how long they have been married when my grandma proclaimed that she was ready to “go with Jesus” my grandpa just kept telling her that when she sees Jesus come for her to go be with him. It was her time to be with Him.
My grandpa is struggling not having his wife but what is amazing to me is his faith that she is where she needs to be. He is thankful for the time he had to care for her-he said God needed me to stay here to care for her until the end. But also his ability to know that it was just her time to move on and go. He believes my grandma is happier and better off where she is now.
The service focused on when it is time for someone to move on it is a time to be celebrated. I have heard that before but I have never actually felt it. Yesterday at that service I was so proud to say I was my grandma’s granddaughter. What a life she lived! What a testament. She even died with the same love and grace she lived with. She told us what was to come and so it was. I have peace knowing that she was ready to move on. I have peace knowing that she wasn’t afraid.
I looked at my life and realized that too often I am so focused on things that really have no business having my attention. My grandma showed me that there is always a time to fight and to work hard but there’s also a time to move onto the next place. She showed me that when you have faith higher than yourself in what’s to come the transition will always be just fine and actually better than you could ever imagine. When you live your life everyday to do what you are supposed to do and do it well, then when the time comes to move onto something new you should always be able to do it with faith that no matter what this is exactly where you’re supposed to go.
Our family misses my grandma. She was such a wonderful woman, but she prepared us all for this next chapter. She did everything she could to make sure that we were at peace knowing that this is just what she needed to do. It was just her time to move on. And she has something better now than we could ever imagine. It is time for us to continue to live out her legacy ad create the same thing in our lives. She would be so proud to know that no matter what we are all moving through life, going onto the next thing, knowing that it will always be better than we could ever imagine. ❤️
I am forever grateful for the grandmother I got to have for 35 years. She taught me how to use my voice and how to quiet it. She taught me to always stick up for myself and those without a voice. I’ll never forget the time we were “arguing” when I did her hair at beauty school and I said something sassy to her as my instructor passed by and my grandma looked at my instructor, smiled and said, “She’s the only one allowed to talk to me like that.” My grandma gave me a gift to always be respectful and loving, while also being truthful with my voice. I will forever be grateful for that. ❤️ While I wish the time with her didn’t have to end, I take comfort that she is forever living in a place she’s always wanted to experience. And her experience is far better than she’d ever imagined it to be.